What is it like?

Some people may wonder how the dynamic of a romantic relationship works when one person is spiritual and the other person is not.  I have some experience in this area and can describe the dynamic from my perspective.  Keep in mind my spirituality is not of the mainstream variety.

I’m a whimsical witchy woman and my man is a skeptic.  That difference can be challenging.  No surprise there.  Although they may be frustrating, challenges help us to grow as individuals and as a couple.  The key to harmony in this type of relationship is to try to be respectful of your differences.  Not only to be respectful of those differences, but to accept the likelihood that they will be lasting differences.  You can’t be too easily offended.  I know my guy thinks some of my beliefs are silly.  I accept that when a woman says she believes in faeries (or at least the possibility of their existence) that her fella is more likely to giggle at her than to proclaim “Me too!”  Also, it is kind of nice to have my “own thing”.  Part of the joy of being in a relationship is having a partner to share with.  However, it can be beneficial to individual identity to have an interest or hobby that is one’s “own thing”.  An interest in spiritual topics is a major component of my individual identity.

Even though he doesn’t share my spiritual beliefs, he admires that I have faith.  There are times when scientific thought isn’t enough to help a person feel better.  In those times, the faithful person may have to have enough faith for both.  Those times push the spiritual partner to stay rooted in spirituality, and the skeptical partner can benefit from the balance his or her partner’s faithful optimism can help bring.

Finally, I think the success of such a relationship depends on the belief that somebody being a good person is more important than their beliefs (be those spiritual beliefs or rationale for skepticism).  It is difficult to imagine a healthy relationship in which one person is convinced the other is going to be damned for their doubts.

Blessed be, y’all.


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