I admit I suck at keeping up with a routine.  However, I need to start back at an exercise routine.   Looking back at pictures of myself from 2015 and earlier was an added reality check about my weight gain in addition to my increased pant size.  I am posting this as reference for myself.   I need to start exercising 4-6 days each week.  Hopefully I can drop at least a lb of fat per week by doing that.   I won’t be weighing myself though.  I get too caught up with the number on the scale if I weigh myself.   That can sabotage success.


A Tip for Defeating Dream Monsters

I recently found myself in a level of lucid dream in which I was aware I was dreaming but was unable to control my environment.  A big rhinoceros monster starting coming at me, and my cocky self tried to command it to explode.  Well, that didn’t work out.  Finding yourself lucid in a nightmare and not being able to change it on command is not fun.  I started to feel a little panicked and thought I might have to command myself to wake up.  Then I oddly started pulling at its skin like I was stretching the latex of a balloon.  Instinctively I decided to keep pulling at the monster’s skin until I tore a hole in it.  This worked and the dream monster was defeated.

Retrospectively, I think I know where this skin stretching idea came from.  I watched a Shane Dawson video about lucid dreaming in which he said skin will stretch a crazy amount in dreams.  Thankfully there was a limit to that stretchiness in regard to the rhinoceros monster.  I’d be interested to know if this monster-defeating method works in anybody else’s lucid dreams.

Close it Yourself


A fairly common phrase to be muttered is “I just need closure.”  Something happened to somebody and that person needs closure before he or she can move on to recovery.  That person stays still waiting for answers to be given by an offender.  That person waits and waits for something that may never come.

If a strong wind was blowing in through a window while you struggled to shut it, would you wait for somebody else to shut the window for you or would you keep trying until you succeed?  For that matter, would you just sit there in front of the window with no hope for help and no confidence in yourself?  Imagine how chilled you would become if you believe the third approach to be yours.

Occasionally a person might get closure from another individual.  However, that is often not in the cards.  One of the most valuable and painful lessons to learn is that sometimes you have to close chapters yourself.  You have to write the words you need.

For example, maybe you feel an ever nagging anger that your mother didn’t live up to what a mother should be.  You might be able to ask her why she failed you in many ways, but she might not know those answers either.  In this case, you need to figure out what will help you forgive her on your own.  Doing so could take months or years of introspection and observance.  Eventually you realize that she was a lousy mother because she lacked empathy.  That seems to be out of her control, and thus you are finally able to let go of that anger.

Sometimes you may struggle to achieve closure because you are asking yourself the wrong questions.  For example, you may ask yourself “Why was I not good enough for my ex?” when what you should be asking yourself is “Why do I believe I am not good enough?”  You can’t get the right answers until you ask the right questions.  If you are blessed with faith, you can find answers where there would otherwise be no answers.

I don’t know if this post will make a difference for anybody, but I hope that it will help at least one person to heal.  Whoever you are, may you tap into your strength and move joyfully toward the future.


An Ache

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I feel heartache whenever I see or hear Robin Williams.  That is quite unfortunate because I love Robin Williams.  That may seem crazy to some because I did not actually know him, but it feels a bit like I did.  He was an amazing actor.  What put him a cut above the rest was a very unusual characteristic of his; as a man of many masks he made people feel like they were watching something true.  An actors job is to take on roles and make an audience believe it.  Robin went above and beyond that though.  You didn’t just feel like you were watching the characters he brilliantly portrayed, you felt like you were watching HIM.  He was raw whether playing a dramatic or comedic role.  He did his job so well that it was as if he fused with his characters.  Many of us grew up with this man making us laugh and touching our hearts.  What Dreams May Come is my favorite movie.  But it wasn’t just in his acting roles that he reached us, he did so in stand-up and interviews as well.

The comedy flowed out of him in natural rivers of hilarity.  He was the free-style master of comedy.  It was as if words poured into him from the ether in order to get the crowd roaring with amusement.  As Jim Carrey has pointed out, a comedian gives the world a gift by brightening up people’s lives.  It is a noble pursuit, and Williams excelled at it.

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Whether being himself or playing a role, there was something special about Robin Williams eyes.  His eyes appeared as wide-open windows to his soul.  I think that has a lot to do with why I feel like I knew him in a way.  His gaze pulled you in.  It helped make him feel like America’s lovable uncle (or brother to the older generation).  It feels like there is an empty space in the world where he once was.  I’m not sure there is anybody who can really fill that space short of him being reincarnated.  I recently read Will Smith is in negotiation to play Genie in a live-action version of Aladdin.  Will Smith may be a talented actor, but he just cannot fill those shoes in my mind.  I feel like putting any actor in that role might be setting him up for failure because Robin Williams cast a massive shadow.

Despite being somebody I never met, this man is truly missed.  I hope that eventually I will be able to enjoy his work again without feeling sadness.  Not being able to enjoy such brilliance like I used to probably makes the sadness worse.  I imagine there are plenty of others in the same boat.  I hope we can all get to the point of appreciating what Williams left us with without morning.

A Monster Calls

I spent much of my time yesterday watching movies.  One in particular had me crying.  That movie was A Monster Calls.  I think I expected it to be a bit like BFG.  Aside from a giant figure helping a kid in England, the movies were not very similar.  A Monster Calls is a heart-wrenching movie about a boy dealing with the weakening health of his terminally ill mother.  It’s an exceptional movie with a lovely ending, but don’t watch it unless you are okay with having a some level of an emotional melt-down.

Tarot Business

I wonder how the private tarot reading business works.  I can see how a person can make a little pocket money by offering tarot readings.  Are there people who make a comfortable living by reading tarot?  If so, how does that work? I am genuinely interested if anybody reading this cares to give insight on this.  I am curious about the business aspect of this as well as how one harnesses enough focus and energy to do several readings in a day.  I know that pro readers have the ability to switch from one reading straight to another.  That seems like it could be difficult.  Here’s hoping for some helpful answers.  Blessed be, y’all. 

First Entry in Tarot Reading Log

I recently posted about designating a notebook for tarot reading practice.  This morning I wrote down my first reading in the tarot log section.  I chose a simple 3 card spread, and the results provided me with appreciated confirmation.   I am not going to describe my reading, but I will describe the simple tarot spread in hopes that others will find it helpful.  

The layout is just 3 cards left to right. It’s an easy 1-2-3 spread.  The first card represents what is worrying you.  The second card represents what you need to remember.   The third card represents how you can resolve the situation that is worrying you.  May you find the answers you need.  

Blessed be, y’all. 

Lucid Dream Blocking

I started becoming lucid in dream twice this morning, only for my grandmother to interupt the quietness of the house with scolding her cat both times.  I mean right as I was like “Oh this is a dream. I can…” my grandmother was like “Get down!”  *Sigh*  The frustration.  

Dollar Tree Win

I was looking for a cheap book to occupy my interest during upcoming stormy weather as I stay with my grandmother.   I quickly looked through the unorganized book section (trying to get out before a possible thunderstorm) and decided on a hardback copy of The Connection.  I figured it was a deal to get an inspirational book with a $24 cover price for a dollar.  As it turns out, the book is rated 5 stars on Amazon.  I am guessing that a red marker streak on the bottom of the book accounts for why it ended up at Dollar Tree.   

I will deal with a red mark for a roughly 96% discount!  As a bit of synchronicity, the first random paragraph I starting reading at my grandmother’s house discussed Einstein.   Last night I watched a program about Einstein with keen interest.  🙂  

Blessed be, y’all.