I think sometimes it might be better to tell a little white lie than to tell the truth. I found out that an opinion I stated years ago (which I didn’t think was a huge deal), still haunts somebody I care about’s self esteem. I don’t have the same opinion anymore. It changed probably very soon after I stated it, yet that fact has not enabled the person I care about to let it go. I can’t continue to kick myself for what I said in the past when I was quite different. However, I can put out the message that we need to be careful about what we say. For example, if your sister asks you if you think her ex’s new girlfriend is prettier than her, maybe you shouldn’t say “In some ways, but not in others” even if that’s what you really think. What your sister might take from that is that is she isn’t pretty enough, even if that’s not what you meant. We can’t control what other people think or hold onto, however we can try to be considerate enough not to share potentially hurtful opinions that we really don’t need to share.