A fairly common phrase to be muttered is “I just need closure.” Something happened to somebody and that person needs closure before he or she can move on to recovery. That person stays still waiting for answers to be given by an offender. That person waits and waits for something that may never come.
If a strong wind was blowing in through a window while you struggled to shut it, would you wait for somebody else to shut the window for you or would you keep trying until you succeed? For that matter, would you just sit there in front of the window with no hope for help and no confidence in yourself? Imagine how chilled you would become if you believe the third approach to be yours.
Occasionally a person might get closure from another individual. However, that is often not in the cards. One of the most valuable and painful lessons to learn is that sometimes you have to close chapters yourself. You have to write the words you need.
For example, maybe you feel an ever nagging anger that your mother didn’t live up to what a mother should be. You might be able to ask her why she failed you in many ways, but she might not know those answers either. In this case, you need to figure out what will help you forgive her on your own. Doing so could take months or years of introspection and observance. Eventually you realize that she was a lousy mother because she lacked empathy. That seems to be out of her control, and thus you are finally able to let go of that anger.
Sometimes you may struggle to achieve closure because you are asking yourself the wrong questions. For example, you may ask yourself “Why was I not good enough for my ex?” when what you should be asking yourself is “Why do I believe I am not good enough?” You can’t get the right answers until you ask the right questions. If you are blessed with faith, you can find answers where there would otherwise be no answers.
I don’t know if this post will make a difference for anybody, but I hope that it will help at least one person to heal. Whoever you are, may you tap into your strength and move joyfully toward the future.